Posted by: animekid | August 15, 2007

The Summer of my Discontent..Post the second

This morning I picked up the local newspaper, The Times Herald Record,  knowing what I would find there today….

My mother’s obit notice ran this morning, and just as before, with my dad, seeing the words in black and white, drives home the fact that she is really gone.

And I am angry…

I’m angry, for so many different reasons….

I’m angry that my father wasn’t here when I needed him most

I’m angry that I was an only child, who had to make the tough decisions as to my mother’s care….

I’m angry at the people who were supposed to be her friends, and who either turned their backs on her or just simply made excuses to me when it came to making the effort to go and see her in the hospital…

I’m angry at the doctors who couldn’t make her well again…

I’m angry that I have had to relate her passing to strangers, while attending to her personal matters….

I think…most of all, I am angry at myself, because when mom would make her daily call to me from my family in Brooklyn…there were times I would jokingly say to her “ Mom, you don’t have to call everyday, there is nothing new going on “….in the weeks after her admission to the hospital, when she was put on the respirator, I was not able to hear her voice, hear her speak my name again….I would give anything to hear my mother speak my name again, to hear her say just one more time ” I love you Lewis


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